I like white shirts. I look good in white shirts. But I don't wear white
shirts because I always get stains on them within seconds of putting them
on.
But I'm getting older, and one would like to think better at basic motor
control. Surely at this point in my existence I can go all day without
spilling liquid on myself. So I bought a new white shirt and promptly put it
in my closet and delayed wearing it for months.
But today, I thought, today I will wear my new nice white shirt. Damn the
torpedoes, carpe diem, all that stuff.
Sure enough, within 5 minutes of leaving the house, I had a coffee stain on
my nice new white shirt. Go to the store, open up, and walk out the front
door to go back home and what happens? A pigeon decides to evacuate his
bowels all over my hair, my jacket and of course the front of my white
shirt.
I am never going to wear another white shirt as long as I live. I hate white
shirts. Damn them to Hades!
